


Operation Sugar

by idioticfangirl



Series: The Avengers Team-Building Shenanigans [22]
Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Steve is team mum, Superfamily (Marvel), Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, Teambuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 04:37:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5192597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idioticfangirl/pseuds/idioticfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What does it say about the lives of the Avengers that the worst thing to happen in a week wasn't an invasion of alien snails, but a lack of sugar in tea?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation Sugar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Young_Writing_Robin1701](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Young_Writing_Robin1701/gifts).



> Yo guys Young_Writing_Robin1701 gave me the idea for this and helped me to write it and you should so check out their account!

Bruce was doing an excellent job of keeping control of himself. Over the time spent in the Avengers tower, the number of accidents had reduced until basically nil, unless someone turned the TV off while he was watching Dog Cops. He did this through a strict regime of yoga, anger management...and tea.

Which led to the current problem. The Avengers were gathered in the kitchen, in an impromptu meeting called by Bruce, but none of them had any idea what was going on. Bruce was holding a mug but not drinking from it, looking pinched and panicked as he gripped the back of a chair and waited for the attention of everyone.

"Someone," his voice was steely and accusing, and everyone's eyes slid to the others as they prayed that they hadn't done anything wrong, "has eaten all of the sugar."

It was so anticlimactic that Clint nearly laughed, but one look at Bruce's face let them all know that he was deadly serious.

Bruce spoke through gritted teeth, "I like sugar in my tea. I need sugar in my tea. So we're going to have a problem if I don't get sugar in my tea." Gone was the mild-mannered scientist who shies away from all conflicts, this Bruce was aggressive, dominating, and terrifying.

"Brucey, we wouldn't want that," Tony's voice came hurriedly, attempting to prevent a problem, "how long has it been since a hulk-out?" A piece of paper kept on the fridge by a magnet let them know that it had been 36 days since the last little accident.

Bruce hardly seemed to react to that, and Tony's eyes desperately turned to others to help him out.

"Drink it unsweetened," Natasha suggested, tone letting him know that she highly doubted there was any other way to drink tea.

"I don't want it unsweetened. I like things sweet!"

"Blasphemer," she muttered, but it was much more quiet than usual as she stepped back.

Vision chose this point to finally step in with his own helpful input. "Heart rate rising...rising...rising..." This shocked Steve into action, although what action he wasn't completely sure yet. 

"Um sugar sugar okay we'll get some sugar," he rambled, desperately racking his brains as though he could suddenly remember a stash of sugar he had seen hiding around the tower.

"Recent stocks show that all shops within fifty miles have run out of sugar," FRIDAY, the voice of doom, came from the ceiling. There was a bang as Bucky left the room, presumably to get out of the tower of madness. Steve half-considered following him out.

"How are they all out of sugar?" Scott questioned, and everyone was seriously considering a supervillain creating an army of sugar granules before Pietro said sheepishly,

"I just really like sugar."

Steve completely ignored Pietro in favour of turning hopelessly to Sam. "Go and get some sugar!" he pleaded.

"There's no sugar for fifty miles."

"Fly to a different state then!"

Sam seemed ready to argue, but saw the looks on both Steve and Bruce's face and hurriedly left to get his suit on.

"Sorry, are we all just going to gloss over the fact that Pietro has single-handedly put all shops nearby out of sugar?" Scott's mouth hung open in shock.

"We have bigger things to worry about!" Steve yelped, hands flapping as he tried to think of something else to do.

Seeing that Steve would, for once, be relinquishing his role as team mum, Scott picked it up with relish. "Pietro are you an actual child?" he lectured, while Pietro at least had the good grace to look abashed, "You should not be eating that much sugar! How are you not dead?" Pietro just shrugged, almost proud of himself for this feat of metabolism.

"Well," Tony clapped his hands together in a way that meant a terrible idea was coming up, "seeing as no-one's actually going to fix this problem yelling at each other, I'm going to be in my lab."

"What are you going to do in your lab?" Steve was practically screaming by now, "You can't create sugar down there!"

"Actually," a slow smile spread across Tony's face as he considered it, "I can. See you guys!" He hared away before anyone could even figure out how to stop him.

"We're not gonna see him for three days, are we?" Clint asked, and Steve sighed in response.

"What if," Thor seemed incredibly over-excited about this, "we melt poptarts and oreos? Are they not made of sugar?"

"They are pretty much just sugar," Natasha mused.

"I'm not sure that their chemical structure would do well under the extreme conditions required for melting," Vision warned, but the team was so desperate to do something to handle the situation that they foolishly believed that Thor's idea may be a good one.

 

The gooey mixture produced by melting the confectionery did not look in any way appetising. With a last, dying, spark of hope, they poured some into a new mug of tea and stirred in most of the lumps. Bruce took the tea and held it to his lips. None of the team dared to breath as they stared fearfully at Bruce's facial expression.

It wasn't Bruce's face that gave it away. It was the fact that he spat the mouthful out on the table and hurled the 'tea' towards the sink. It hit Thor, who looked insulted and hurt, and bounced off, shattering on the floor. Everyone went still, fearing a hulk-out, but he merely yelled, "Never do that again!"

It was a fair enough comment. Dejected, Thor moved as though to pour the melted sweets away, but Clint stopped him.

"It can't be that bad. Poptarts and oreos are my two favourite things! I'll give it a go."

As though proving a point, Clint drained the entire mug, making a face as he pulled away but also a contented sigh. In a matter of seconds he was bouncing off the walls, with Natasha watching on in undisguised amusement and everybody else despairing at the horrible turn of events.

Wanda made the most of the distraction to pull Peter away from Pietro, who was watching Clint as though he would love to join in, to ask him some questions. Peter immediately began to run through everything that he had done wrong in his entire life.

"My brother is happy with you," was not the phrase Peter expected to come out of Wanda's mouth, and yet it did. "He loves you very much, and wants to stay with you." Peter blushed, but attempted to stay focussed. "So if I find out that this is just a phase, that you are playing him," she hissed, trailing off as she tightened her grip on his arm.

Peter sputtered, almost shrieking. His fear of her returned full-force, and he thought about running away, but one glance at his crazy, brilliant boyfriend had him standing his ground. He looked her deep in her glowing eyes and said definitely, even though his voice was shaking, "Are you kidding me? I'm gayer than a fucking rainbow!" He didn't have it in him to regret what he had just said, he had never really come out but he and Pietro had clearly gone further than just bros being bros. Wanda nodded, pleased with the outcome, before turning to the rest of the team and announcing, 

"This place is a madhouse," here she looked pointedly at Clint, "I'm going to Starbucks." No-one could argue with her statement, especially considering that Clint was dancing on the precariously swinging table and singing Call Me Maybe, and they watched her leave with a feeling of doom settling over them.

 

Half an hour later, with everyone on the edge of their frayed nerves, Bucky strolled back into the kitchen, holding a plastic bag. At the confused glances, he placed it triumphantly on the table, pulling out its contents. Held aloft in his hands, like Simba in The Lion King, was a bag of sugar.

"How did you do it?" Steve was finally able to relax as Bruce set about making his normal cup of tea, already closer to in control than he had been all day.

"I went shopping," Bucky replied slowly, looking around the mess of the kitchen as though seeing it for the first time, "like a normal person."

"Well," Steve sighed dramatically, "someone tell Wanda it's safe to come back, get Clint off his sugar high, and get Sam back from whatever state he's gone to. I'm gonna stop Tony from blowing up his lab trying to make sugar." He left.

"Well," Bucky clicked his tongue, "this has been fun. Since I'm the only one who had a good idea round here, you guys can clean up. Bye!"

"For people who can deal with a world invasion, we sure are shit at dealing with shopping crises," Bruce muttered, cradling his tea in his hands.

Clint, swinging from the light, giggled.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still taking requests for these if you want to email me kitty122011@hotmail.co.uk


End file.
